A message to the Sheriff of Blogwood - get outa town

OK so it’s been over a week since Blogopolis 2012… a week full of ankle pain, school holiday angst and post-conference depression. I’ve already done my Blogopolis post, but I still have something to say. Eden Riley from Edenland said last weekend that your voice is a muscle; the more you use it, the stronger it gets. Eden also said that the Blogosphere is like the Wild West. There are no rules, man. Bring that shit on.

OK hombres, which one of you is the sheriff of Blogwood?

No? Nobody steppin' forward?

Coz week just gone, I was pretty sure I heard a few of you cowpokes tryin’ to tell this blogger what she could and couldn’t do.

Somethin’ about fights with pardners and vomitin' on the internets.

Now, I ain’t lookin' for a fight. No siree.

I just figure how this is the Wild West and all, if we’re all law-abidin' folk, doin’ what the sheriff tells us, soon it won’t be so wild no more.

What’s good for the goose ain’t always good for the gander. Some of us bloggers wanna talk about the latest bonnets outta Philly. Some of us wanna bring the latest news from the East coast. Some of us wanna be cowboys and outlaws.

Blogwood is big enough for all us citizens, right? If you gotta think twice ‘bout that post before hittin’ publish, hit publish and be damned. Everyone ain’t gonna like you. So what? There ain’t no rules; we’re putting down roots in a new frontier over here.

Who gave that sheriff a badge, anyhoo? Did they pin it on theirselves?

I s’pect so.

So this is a message for the sheriff of Blogwood.

Before you come saunterin' into the Blogwood saloon, clickin' those spurs and flashin' that shiny star round, tellin' us what we all should be doin', remember that there ain’t no rules in this town.

If you keep tryin' to make all us bloggers obey your rules, this town ain’t gonna be big enough for the both of us.

So drink up, sheriff, cos you’re on the first coach outa here in the mornin' and it’s a thirsty journey. Don’t let the saloon doors hit you on the dusty butt on the way out.

The Blogger With No Name

How we invented spoon porn and other adventures at Nuffnang Blogopolis 2012

There will be a bazillion wonderfully written blog posts about the session content that made up the tea-fuelled glory that was Nuffnang Blogopolis 2012. They will be written in superlative style, with skilled Instagrammed photos of towering high tea trays and perfectly coiffed fashion bloggers.

This is not one of those posts.

I learned a lot at Nuffnang Blogopolis 2012, and had a totally fantabulous, snazbig time. I’ll be making changes to my blog over the next few weeks to reflect what I’ve learned. I met so many wonderful people that I can’t list them all. I came away enriched and inspired.

Here are my highlights.

Highlight 1: Starting my day started at 3.35am. OK so that’s a lowlight, not a highlight but I needed to let everyone know HOW MUCH I SUFFER FOR MY ART.

Highlight 2: Finallysnogging body slamming kidnapping hugging my stunningly wonderful soul sister Redundantmother for the first time. Not only is she a great writer, she’s a mega hugger and a sexy thang a beautiful lady to boot.

That's my soul sister on the right. I heart her to the max.

Highlight 3: Receiving this gorgeous framed quote from my soul sister.

Excerpt from Desiderata there's something in my eye

Highlight 4: Meeting Mrs Woog! AHMAHGERD!

“It's Wooooooooooooog…”

Highlight 5: Sharing a table with two lovely ladies from Something Gorgeous –Toni and Giulia. I forgot to check my emails at 3.35am so missed the notice informing me that animal print was the uniform of the day.

Bloggers are ANIMALS

Highlight 6: Morning“high” tea, which was genteel and lovely and far too fancy for the likes of me. This isn’t a food blog and there are already loads of shots of it all over the internet so here’s a photo of a random meerkat instead.

Random Meerkat is random

Highlight 7: Meeting Eden Riley from Edenland. What a kind, generous, real woman. So touched that she was familiar with my froggy brand.

Highlight 8: Seeing Woogsy and Eden speak on separate panels. They speak EXACTLY how they write. Authentic much?

Highlight 9: Meeting the fabulous Kim from Allconsuming. Hilarious, warm, wonderful, talented.

Highlight 10: Spoongate.

We were set up!

What spoon?

Exhibit A for the Prosecution

Spoon porn. These are not my boobs.
My boobs totally do not look this good in a spoon.

Highlight 11: BREAKING THE INTERNET. Well, Instagram and Pinterest anyway. Oh and the hotel wireless…

Highlight 12: Meeting Jaclyn from Little Paper Trees at drinks. This lady is smart and radiant. Go follow her blog!

Highlight 13: Drinking wayyyyy too many sauv blancs, and waking up in the morning (thankfully in my hotel room) to find this photo on my phone:

Shoe porn for long-sighted foot fetishists

I was a bit worried that I’d drunkenly joined the out-of-focus shoe porn industry overnight. I didn’t remember taking that photo. I trawled back through my twitter feed and discovered that I was so overjoyed when I got my shoes off that I took a shot of one to celebrate. It’s also proof that I AM CRAZY PSYCHIC. More on that later.

Highlight 14: Stuffing my ankle. OK this is actually another lowlight but stop judging me, Judgey Judgersons, this is my post to do what I like with. AND THAT’S A SUBJECT FOR ANOTHER POST.

In the morning I showered, checked out, and went over on my hypermobile ankle three metres from the hotel

So I must have known that I was going to wreck my ankle so I could have a shoe porn BEFORE shot, to go with this AFTER shot:

Ouch

Actually, I think Betadine is also psychic because in the totally generous and snazbig goody bags, was this…

Prescient goody bag contents

… which is perfect because I’ve woken up today with a sore throat.

I still have one good ankle, so who’s up for the Problogger event in Melbourne in October?!