Monday, July 2, 2012

How we invented spoon porn and other adventures at Nuffnang Blogopolis 2012

There will be a bazillion wonderfully written blog posts about the session content that made up the tea-fuelled glory that was Nuffnang Blogopolis 2012. They will be written in superlative style, with skilled Instagrammed photos of towering high tea trays and perfectly coiffed fashion bloggers.

This is not one of those posts.

I learned a lot at Nuffnang Blogopolis 2012, and had a totally fantabulous, snazbig time. I’ll be making changes to my blog over the next few weeks to reflect what I’ve learned. I met so many wonderful people that I can’t list them all. I came away enriched and inspired.


Here are my highlights.

Highlight 1: Starting my day started at 3.35am. OK so that’s a lowlight, not a highlight but I needed to let everyone know HOW MUCH I SUFFER FOR MY ART.

Highlight 2: Finallysnogging body slamming kidnapping hugging my stunningly wonderful soul sister Redundantmother for the first time. Not only is she a great writer, she’s a mega hugger and a sexy thang a beautiful lady to boot.
That's my soul sister on the right. I heart her to the max.
Highlight 3: Receiving this gorgeous framed quote from my soul sister.


Excerpt from Desiderata there's something in my eye
Highlight 4: Meeting Mrs Woog! AHMAHGERD!


“It's Wooooooooooooog…”
Highlight 5: Sharing a table with two lovely ladies from Something Gorgeous –Toni and Giulia. I forgot to check my emails at 3.35am so missed the notice informing me that animal print was the uniform of the day.
Bloggers are ANIMALS


Highlight 6: Morning“high” tea, which was genteel and lovely and far too fancy for the likes of me. This isn’t a food blog and there are already loads of shots of it all over the internet so here’s a photo of a random meerkat instead.


Random Meerkat is random
Highlight 7: Meeting Eden Riley from Edenland. What a kind, generous, real woman. So touched that she was familiar with my froggy brand.


Highlight 8: Seeing Woogsy and Eden speak on separate panels. They speak EXACTLY how they write. Authentic much?


Highlight 9: Meeting the fabulous Kim from Allconsuming. Hilarious, warm, wonderful, talented.


Highlight 10: Spoongate.




We were set up!


What spoon?
Exhibit A for the Prosecution
Spoon porn. These are not my boobs.
My boobs totally do not look this good in a spoon.


Highlight 11: BREAKING THE INTERNET. Well, Instagram and Pinterest anyway. Oh and the hotel wireless…


Highlight 12: Meeting Jaclyn from Little Paper Trees at drinks. This lady is smart and radiant. Go follow her blog!


Highlight 13: Drinking wayyyyy too many sauv blancs, and waking up in the morning (thankfully in my hotel room) to find this photo on my phone:


Shoe porn for long-sighted foot fetishists
I was a bit worried that I’d drunkenly joined the out-of-focus shoe porn industry overnight. I didn’t remember taking that photo. I trawled back through my twitter feed and discovered that I was so overjoyed when I got my shoes off that I took a shot of one to celebrate. It’s also proof that I AM CRAZY PSYCHIC. More on that later.


Highlight 14: Stuffing my ankle. OK this is actually another lowlight but stop judging me, Judgey Judgersons, this is my post to do what I like with. AND THAT’S A SUBJECT FOR ANOTHER POST.

In the morning I showered, checked out, and went over on my hypermobile ankle three metres from the hotel

So I must have known that I was going to wreck my ankle so I could have a shoe porn BEFORE shot, to go with this AFTER shot:


Ouch
Actually, I think Betadine is also psychic because in the totally generous and snazbig goody bags, was this…
Prescient goody bag contents

… which is perfect because I’ve woken up today with a sore throat.

I still have one good ankle, so who’s up for the Problogger event in Melbourne in October?!



31 comments:

  1. Lol, excellent post. I love your version of the day. I had a few too many Sauvignon blancs too. The goodie bag should have come with panadol. Rachel xx

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  2. maybe there were far too many crutches there and would love to see any pictures of the high tea....just so I can dream.

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  3. Whose boobs are they?

    HUBBA.

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    1. Hi darl. They belong to Redundantmother. See? She's a sexy thang!

      Lovely to meet you on Saturday xxxx

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  4. Hilaire! Great post blog highlight list. Awesome pics. I so thought Redundantmother had red hair and blue eyes! V.

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  5. Such a clever post, I'm still laughing over the spoon thing. Thanks for being such fun company, although next time dress correctly !! XT

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  6. Just followed Eden's link to you blog what a hilarious recap.

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    1. Thanks, and thanks for dropping by! :-)

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  7. Haha. Love this. I found you via your tweets during the day. Laughed my ASS OFF. Massive lowlight the dying of the Interwebs. Do you think we killed QANTAS too? Because if we did, I'm a little pissy about that. The lines almost killed me all hung over and such that I was. ;)

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    1. Thanks Melissa. So happy my meanderings made you laugh. MY MISSION IN LIFE! Oh yes the airport was INSANE. Thanks for reading :-)

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  8. So I was told the spoons had some crystals on them, but I never saw THOSE spoons. We just had poxy boring plain spoons. I may have slipped some in with the tea cups if I had of seen them.
    (To be transparent, I did hand the tea cups over....you know, after I was informed there were apparently tweets from a very distressed Nuffnang employee asking us to please not take them. See if the bloody wifi worked I might have seen that tweet!)

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    1. LOL! Yes those cups were lovely. I don't really drink tea so it was a #beveragefail for me but it all looked gorgeous... thanks for putting those cups back. After these incriminating photos Nuffnang might have come after me for them ;-) x

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  9. Glad to know some spooning went on, and that Betadine thoughtfully helped filled the goodie bags in anticipation of sore throats the day after. I wish I could have been there, but I've enjoyed living vicariously through posts like yours!

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  10. Sounds like fun, fun, fun. I need fun. I'll be there in October. Look forward to meeting you :)

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    1. Thanks Lisa. Looking forward to meeting you too!

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    1. Coiffed is I think what I meant. I'll fix it. Ta.

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  12. Oops - my bad - no idea why I suddenly started spelling it with QU after all these (very many) years! (except that I was in bed?) Sorry xxxx Messy mind...

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  13. OMG that was funny- you and RedundantMother are a crack up!

    And... is that actually your mum, correcting your spelling on your blog...? Awwww Mum!! ;) xx

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    1. Thanks darl! Yes, that's mum... she got it wrong too but she pointed me in the right direction.

      Yes, my mum reads my blog. So proud to have her as a reader (and maybe a little scared. Or maybe she should be...) ;-) xx

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    2. Why scared? You have been bigger than me for about 30 years! And you write better! :-D xxxx

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  14. wish I was there to steal some spoons.

    I am running low.

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    1. Wish you'd been there too! (We could have blamed Spoongate on you)

      x

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  15. Love your round-up. Totally made me laugh. Thanks :) Mine was much more serious :(

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    1. Thanks J! I cheated and blogged about it again today - shhh! (This one might make you smile too)

      x

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  16. Um, those purple pumps? I have a pair. I bought them at a shop in Katoomba when I was in Sydney for AusBlogCon 2011! :P

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    1. I love them! But since ankle was actually broken that day, I've been scared to wear them again!

      X

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