Please do not poke my subconscious with a stick - the top 9 things that shit me

Appropriate image from here.

What shit really pisses you off?

Are there things that people do, say, situations that press your buttons?

There are strong, ingrained detestations that creep up on me. I'm regularly surprised, because I forget they’re there. Which is pretty dumb because how can someone forget about the shit that really shits you? That shit is crazy.

Here are the Top Ten Nine* Things That Give Me The Major Shittings. Enjoy. 

1. Pee on the toilet seat. You know what I’m talking about. That is unpleasant shit.
2. Stale bread. My definition of stale is “was not baked today”. Yes I am a bread Nazi. I confess. Stale bread might as well be shit.
3. Slamming doors. My child does this every ten seconds and it’s giving me a serious case of the screaming shits.
4. Intolerance**. Except of stale bread, slamming doors and sitting in someone else’s pee. You have a free intolerance pass for those. It is TOTALLY OK to be a bigoted right-wing extremist all over THAT shit.
5. Being told what I can or can’t do. For my psyche, this is like stomping up to a deep, dark spider hole, poking a great big fuck-off stick into the hole a few times and shouting:
   
   “HELLOOOOOO! ARE YOU IN THERE???!!!! COME OUT AND BITE ME YOU WEAK FUCKER!”
   
   The likely ending to this scenario is you staggering off screaming into the distance with a huge hairy arachnid wrapped around your face trying to sink its fangs into your brain through whichever eye socket is most handy.
6. Cliques***. I see them every-fucking-where, even in groups that profess to be against cliques. Let’s try to be accepting of people and how crazy they all are. Our own brand of crazy shit doesn’t make us better than those people over there with a different brand of crazy shit. It’s all crazy shit, and in the end none of us get out alive, whatever brand of shit we subscribe to. Let’s just get over cliquey shit and move on.
7. Media indoctrination of bullshit gender stereotypes that entrench the “women are all busy mums rolling their eyes at their incompetent husbands” attitude. We couldn’t present that scenario with the genders reversed so why do we do it? Men, don't put up with that shit.
8. Persistent hot days with warm nights that sap my energy and make intelligent (cough) blog writing impossible. They shit me because I have to resort to lame whiney-arse Top Ten Nine lists that nobody cares about.
9. Pointless Top Ten Nine lists of crap nobody cares about, because they’re shit.

What’s on your top ten nine list of shittingest things?

* I'm as amazed as you are that there are currently only nine. I'm sure it won't last.
** See also: Cliques

*** See also: Intolerance