Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Questions for Ben: What you can do to prevent the breakdown of society (plus chickens)

How could you not give this man a lousy dollar?
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Today I ask the author, comedian, poet, and all-round hilarious dude, Ben Pobjie, some questions (mainly about chickens). A big thank you to Ben for agreeing to let me loose in his brain.

Frog: You've started your latest show, An Evening of Unfettered Ben, at the Butterfly Club in Melbourne this week. The crucial question is; will there be butterflies?
Ben: No. I've been thoroughly fumigated.
Frog: OK folks, you heard it here first. You can all go to the show (you're all going, right?) knowing you won't be bothered by any pesky Lemon Migrants or Purple Coppers. Ben, you're currently raising money for your next MICF show - Trigger Warning. What can you tell us about the show?
Ben: It will be completely unapologetic, potentially disturbing and reasonably audible. Do not come if you are likely to be offended by anything whatsoever.
Frog: Chicken, or beef?
Ben: Chicken. C'mon. Beef? It's known as "poor man's chicken".
Frog: Why did the chicken?
Ben: Pure bloody-mindedness.
Frog: Speaking of chickens, you're funding your next MICF show with the Give Ben A Dollar campaign. How's that going?
Ben: People have been very generous except for those who haven't. I ask you: if I asked you for a dollar to buy a packet of chips, wouldn't you give it to me? So c'mon guys, why not to buy a packet of comedy?
Frog: Well then I ask you, if I gave you a dollar today, what would you do with it?
Ben: Flip it in the air in a rakish manner.
Frog: I'd pay to see that. On the subject of rakes, Tennant or Smith?
Ben: Tennant. Unless the Smith in question is champion Melbourne Storm hooker Cameron Smith, who is pretty great.
Frog: What's the best heckle (not written by you) that you've ever received at a gig?
Ben: This is like asking me who is my favourite racist. The best heckle is one that a person is intelligent enough to keep to themselves. 
Frog: Let's talk about favourites, then. House Stark, or House Lannister?
Ben: To be friends with, or to stab an innocent person in the face? Stark for the former. Stark again for the latter, since you couldn't even trust a Lannister to stab the right person.
Frog: If you could invite anyone (living, dead, real, or fictional) over for dinner, who would it be and why (I'm guessing neither Starks nor Lannisters are on the list)?
Ben: Shaun Micallef. I would beg him for a job. 
Frog: While you're waiting for Shaun Micallef to drop from the ceiling with a job, what's the most persuasive reason you can think of why people should Give Ben a Dollar?
Ben: Because human society is built on the principle of reciprocal cooperation, and those who fail to assist their fellow man in his time of need are risking a total breakdown of the community adhesion upon which civilisation depends.
Frog: Shit, this comedy thing is serious. C'mon people, Give Ben a Dollar. We don't want to see civilisation fall for the lack of a little gold coin, do we?

Ben Pobjie writes for The Guardian, The Age, New Matilda and for his own blog, Ben Pobjie's Wonderful World of Objects. You should all go like him on Facebook and follow him on Twitter, and go see him at the Butterfly Club. Most of all, though, you should give him a dollar. For the sake of humanity.

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