Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Badly behaved cutlery, shark penises and broken moustaches

I started to write my post-ProBlogger Training Event post, because that’s what you do after a blogging conference.

You write a brilliant piece outlining everything you did, the blogerati you met, and the amazing epiphanies you experienced.

Here’s my last one. A literary masterpiece (if you’re into questionable cutlery behaviour and broken limbs).

Here I am sitting in Hobart airport typing away. On my blog post. Except, the blog post didn’t happen. This did:

Yes this is what happened to me at Problogger 2012

I realised that I have a book that needs to be written. Looks like it’ll get written whether I like it or not.

Problogger was terrific and I recommend you go next year. Plenty of other people will blog about the amazing stuff they learned.

Here are, instead, my Top Ten Seven Moments from ProBlogger 2012:

Poorly Behaved Cutlery Strikes Again
Yes, another blogging conference where cutlery became the inadvertent star. This time, the spoon invested in a social media strategy. SMART SPOON.

The Devious Etihad Spoon demonstrating Blogger Pay Scales

The Mo goes Mad
I got to wear my (generic no-name nasal wax *cough*) moustache stencil to the cocktail party.

Then it broke. I proved that if nothing else, I can improvise.

Thanks to Jackie Purnell and Sarah from What Sarah Did Next for playing with me in the photo booth. Photos courtesy of Smile Booth Australia.

I sweated champagne

The morning after the night before. Sorry to anyone sitting near me. Despite showering and changing I’m pretty sure you’d have been able to get drunk just from licking me. So I’m glad you all restrained yourselves. It was best for everyone really.

Shark penises
That is all.

If you weren’t in Room 1 for this session, you missed out. They gave free marine mammal penises to each attendee. Did nobody tell you? Oh, it was a secret?

Oops. Sorry.

The one where I didn’t break my ankle (but I did try)
On the morning of the second day I tripped UP the tram steps, then spent ten minutes panicking because I couldn’t find my stick on moustache in my Tardis handbag.

Yep. I was ready for Day 2.

I met the woman who changed my life. In the toilet.
Let me clarify. I met Valerie Khoo in the bathroom.

Not the toilet itself.

And she changed my life because of what she said on a panel.*

Not what she did for me in the toilet.

Which was nothing, other than say hello to me.

I hope we’ve cleared up that horribly embarrassing misunderstanding.

I met some amazing bloggers and writers
I met so many people, some for the first time, some again after meeting them at the last conference. You were all wonderful, hilarious and beautiful. It made me happy to see so many of you embracing both your luminosity and your crazy at the same time.

Sarah from What Sarah Did Next gets a special mention because she put up with my whinging, chattering, general constant presence and a vague champagney smell for the whole conference. Plus she let me get changed in her hotel room.

Pity she didn’t want to go the traditional blog conference pash.

I have no idea why she's laughing.
Photo again thanks to Smile Booth Australia.

*More on that in another post.

Did you go to Problogger 2012?
If so, did you meet all the people you wanted to meet?




  1. Shit, I forgot about the shark penis!

    I really wanted to meet Eden and Kerri - I introduced myself to The Woog and peepeed my panties a bit.

    Cherie from Raising Master Max was on my list, too. I saw her but didn't chat to her. Otherwise, pretty successful I think!


  2. Brilliant!

    Thanks for sharing in such an intimate MOment with me...bwahahaaa.

    Somehow I managed to avoid the shark on earth that happened I'll never know.

    It was fab meeting you M, I'm going to find the nasal wax post...

    1. Oh you missed the shark penis MOment? Pity. LOL was wonderful to meet you too! x

  3. You wrote the first chapter of your book?!! That is VERY cool!

    1. I was surprised too! It poured out all in a rush. Which probably means it's shit but that's OK, that's what editing and rewriting is for ;-)
      Was so nice to meet you x

  4. Love this wrap-up! I haven't sat down to process it all yet. Hope to do that next week, but by then it'll be too late to do a post on it... so I'll leave that to others as well. (Plus I'm not great at homework!)

    Glad there were no injuries (to any of us) this time around. (Though I did return home sick!)



      Let's hope it stays that way... hope you feel better! x

  5. I didn't go. Wanted to go. Badly. And now I know there were shark penis's (peni?) I am devastated and feel robbed of what I'm sure would have been a defining moment of my life. I will definitely have to go next year and the ante better be upped. I want a whale penis!

    1. I think there may well be an opportunity to corner the marine mammal genetalia market... ;-) x

  6. Yes well - I am sure absolutely everyone was asking where Mumabulous was.

    1. There was a panel examing that very subject. Buy a Virtual Ticket! ;-) x

  7. This looks so fun! I am jealous! I woulda gone to that.

    Besides, who could turn down a shark penis?

    Glad to hear you did chapter 1. :) Keep goin.

  8. Hilarious! Great to have met you at the party. You feature on my blog today. You and your gorgeous goatee made a big impression on me.


    1. It was wonderful to meet you too! Thanks so much for the mention, you're very sweet :-)

      Thanks for the mo love ;-)

  9. Replies
    1. Thanks Melissa, it was. Of course, afterwards is when the hard work starts, improving the lily pad ;-)

  10. I wasn't so good at meeting people this year, but I am glad that I met you, finally, after only really knowing you from Twitter. Your moustache was a hit!

    1. I'm so glad we met too (and took a selfie to prove it) ;-) xxx