BCV*: “Mmm phmmmhhh.”
Frog: “What was that?”
BCV: “I’m shitting myself because Problogger
is only 4 days away.”
Frog: “You’re right! Excuse me while I do a
little froggy happy dance.”
Pause while frog dances.
BCV: “That’s a nice dance. You’re being a
bit insensitive though.”
Frog: “Oh. So is this your first blogging
conference?”
BCV: “Yes. I’m not sure what to expect, or
even if I should be there”
Frog: “Relax. You’ll be fine. Bloggers –
including the Blogerati – are normal, nice people.”
BCV raises an eyebrow.
Frog: “OK normal might be overstating it. Bloggers
are all rational sane oh who am I kidding friendly welcoming
oh fuckety. Bloggers are PEOPLE. And frogs. And as people (and frogs), bloggers
cover a broad spectrum of… well… everything.
Lots of
bloggers will be just like you. Wondering how many changes of underwear they’re
going to need while gathering up the courage to go say a squealy querulous hello
to Mrs Woog, Eden or Kerri Sackville.
My advice –
and this covers life in general, not just blogging conferences - just jump the hell
in.”
BCV: “But so many things could go wrong!”
Frog: “This was me before my first blogging conference:"
"And I did OK. Even though I’m the frog that broke her ankle the
morning after, outside the hotel, in a city far
from home. I was half of the scary pair that
brought you spoon
porn. You’re
welcome.
My blog is about
bodily functions (repeatedly), fame,
stupidity,
sarcasm,
dungeons,
spelling
mistakes, homicidal
marine creatures, nasal beauty, world
peace and painful
breakups.
So
basically, totally silly bullshit nothing and everything. Looking for
common themes, I think my niche might be swearing.”
Frog makes a note of her niche.
BCV: “But I’m not a pro. I’m not sure I’ll
fit in.”
Frog: “I’ve not made a single dollar from my
blog. I have less than 400 Twitter followers. Less than 300 unique visitors to
my blog each month. And I’m going to Problogger 2012 with my froggy head held
high, because I know I belong there. Because I’m a blogger.
Although, I
am feeling a bit low now that I’ve looked at my stats.”
BCV and Frog share a moment to mourn the state of their stats.
Frog: "Feel better now?"
BCV: “Yes thanks.”
Frog: “Everything will be fine because nobody
expects anything of you (except you). That’s called freedom.”
BCV: “You know, you’re right!”
Frog: “Fake it till you make it, baby. See
you at #pbevent. I’ll be the one trying not to break any bones.”
Do you expect too much of yourself?**
*BCV = Blogging Conference Virgin
**Yes? Stop it right now or there will be consequences.
PS If you can’t attend the Problogger Training Event 2012,
you can get access to recordings of all the sessions by clicking here
to purchase a virtual ticket…
lol ill be like this next year for the digital parents one.
ReplyDeleteYou'll have a great time - good luck :-)
DeleteNEVER! I may not make a cent out of my blog, but I'm taking over the blogging world, baby. Or will do. One day. When I get the poker out of my arse and actually write some decent content.
ReplyDeleteI used to expect to much of myself but when it comes to Problogger I figure we're all there to learn and if I don't learn anything, THEN I'll wonder what the fuck I'm doing there.
Great attitude :-)
DeleteYour blog rocks! Quite frankly its better than some of the very popular ones. Stats aint everything. (At least that's what I'm telling my sad BCV self).
ReplyDeleteAll the best of luck.
Awww you're sweet! Thanks love x
DeleteThis made me laugh so much. Looking forward to losing my virginity :-)
ReplyDeleteThanks darling. I'll be there holding your hand.
DeleteOK that sounds wrong.
I'll be right beside you.
Nope, still wrong.
See you Friday!