Tuesday, October 23, 2012

A story about intent - and how I got run over

I got run over today.* It's been an odd day so far. Full of good intentions (and poor outcomes).

There I was, minding my own in business, in the basement car park of Spotlight in Box Hill.

Now, some of you may be saying that this serves me right, shopping in a place like Spotlight. In the end that was a lie. I didn't shop at Spotlight at all. That was my intention, but it was not to be.

So there I was in the basement car park, trying to work out whether I had enough change to pay the $1.00 cost.

I had 95 cents.

Of course.

Standing there counting my five cent pieces, I felt a sudden, solid nudge to my posterior.
I looked around and was fucking amazed quite surprised to see that a HUGE MOFO 4WD small black hatchback had reversed out of a parking spot behind me and ran me clean over and broken every bone in my body bumped into my arse.

I wandered over and the driver wound down their window. I politely asked them to be more careful next time. They hadn't noticed that they'd run me over and killed me bumped into me.** They had intended to drive carefully -and failed.

As they drove away thoroughly chastised unconcerned, another exiting driver drove past me (damn I forgot to thank her for not running me over) and handed me her parking ticket. I had intended to pay with my credit card but now I didn't have to.

A win!

I put my precious 95 cents away and headed up to Spotlight. Where I didn't shop, despite intending to, because they didn't have what I wanted. Note to Spotlight Box Hill: your staff suck.

As part of my homework from the Problogger Training Event 2012, I've created a manifesto, a froggy bloggy statement of intent, for what to expect from my blog:

What to expect from the frog
This is what I intend to do with my blog. You can call me on it if I don't live up to my intentions.

I guess the moral of the story is that intentions are all well and good, but they won't stop you from viciously running someone over running your car into an unsuspecting pedestrian's arse. Nor will they get you the Stretch Magic you want unless you buy it on the internet and avoid Spotlight completely. Apparently.

*OK so maybe not run over. Bumped into by a car. Travelling at slow speed. My arse hurts, OK? So I was SO run over. Shit you people are a tough crowd to impress.
** I would like this moment record for posterior posterity. My arse is so small people run their cars into it and don't notice. Thankyouverymuch.

When have you seen good intentions go horribly wrong?

16 comments:

  1. Bwahahaha! Oops sorry hon, that is hilarious!! Obviously the offending reversing vehicle didn't beep the heck out of everything (STOOOOOPID sensors!!) to let them know you were there. ;)
    Or they smashed every sensor (as I am often somewhat tempted to do myself with the seemingly CONSTANT beeping - especially when the kids decided to walk up and around the car before getting in!!)... Ahem.
    I do hope your butt feels better soon - although, you could so pass any bruise off as a roller derby injury. Well if you played. :D xxx

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    1. Yes it was a beep-free-zone. Butt is A-O-K (well, back to how it was anyway!). Roller derby? I break myself walking down the street. And standing in car parks. Roller derby may not be the sport for me ;-)

      x

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  2. Oh geezus, nothing worse that a bumped arse in a carpark... Spotlight carpark of all places - please note I have no fucking idea where Box Hill or where it houses it's Spotlight for that matter.

    I love your Manifesto. It is so completely you, and explains the blog down to a T!

    Now, go buy yourself an arse-guard so you won't get run over any more!

    MWAH! xx

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    1. Thanks darling! Yes an arse guard and a coccyx pillow are on order ;-) xxxx

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  3. Love your Manifesto, Frog. It is. good. shit. We'll be keeping you honest though, you hear? Kx

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  4. So glad you and your froggy arse are ok.
    Loooove you and your magnificent manifesto.xx

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    1. Thanks Deb we are both OK LOL Lovely to hear from you. xxxx

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  5. Ahhh... HATE that car park... it royally sucks... But still - no excuse for anyone reversing into you!

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    1. Yeah it's tiny and cramped and dark. And so is the car park LOL ;-)

      x

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  6. It was great to meet you at Problogger - though I really need a WTF Wednesday to brighten my mood.
    Hugs,
    Liz N

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    1. Oh Liz, sorry to hear your mood is poor. My mood is in the shits today myself. So maybe a WTF Wednesday on Thursday might be in order... LOL

      Loved meeting you too :-)

      x

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  7. I friggin' love your manifesto. I'm yet to implement anything I learnt at PBEvent, but hope to start doing that now.

    As for the carpark incident... maybe someone has a 'hit' out on you, though their choice of assassin obviously needs some work! Seriously though I HATE shopping and shopping centres so I figure we take our lives into our own hands every time we attempt a trip to Coles, Ikea, the corner store and the like!

    Deb

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    1. Thanks Deb - yes and doubly so if you're me. Which you're not. Which is good. Safer, really, in the long run...

      xxx

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  8. You were lucky they didn't flatten you! Karma was smiling on you. I love that someone gave you her ticket.

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    1. Thanks L. It was a day of mixed messages from the universe LOL x

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