Conversations with my brain: Welcome to 2013 (and a tired boat metaphor)

ERMAHGERD this boat has no crew. Or rudder. Or a deck.
(OK that's the sum of my nautical knowledge. Go here for the image).

Me: How has your 2013 started?

Brain: With abundant fabulosity, glamour and gentle fierceness, thanks. And yours?

Me: You’re such a liar.

Brain: I dispute that vehemently.

Me: You can’t do anything vehemently. You’re just a brain.

Brain: While we’re on the subject of me, why have you been constantly sending the word “transformation” into my severely tested frontal lobe for the last two or three years?

Me: That wasn’t me.

Brain: Well it wasn’t me.

Me: Then who’s been doing it?

Brain: I don’t know.

Brain and Me in unison: Ooooooh…

(They share a silent moment of awe at the mystical, unknowable nature of the universe). 

Brain: Anyway, so what’s this transformation thing about then?

Me: Oh. Well a while back I pushed the facilitation and training boat out from the safety of permanent fulltime work into the murky, turbulent waters of freelancing. Amazingly the leaky old boat didn’t sink.

Brain: Astonishing.

Me: Shut up. So instead of baking in the sun, sending up flares, drinking salt water and eyeing off my companions as possible entrées, as I waited for rescue from my capsized career, my paid job has become more (flam)buoyant inch by inch each year. No need to steer the boat back to harbour. Lucky!

Brain: Can I tell you how much I’m enjoying this boat metaphor?

Me: Shut up. This flexibility meant I could start things like this blog. Now it seems it’s time to take stock, and see where I fancy steering this here boat.

Brain: So that’s why the word “opportunity” keeps flashing across my synapses.

Me: Could be. I’ve been invited into a memoir writing group.

Brain: ER. MAH. GERD. Shitting. My. Self.

Me: And I’ve started back into fiction writing here. Now I have three books to write. Which is bloody ridiculous, because I work full-time doing something else right now. And some writing courses. This weekend I started Reiki Level 1* and I want to do more. This boat is being steered in a lot of different directions.

Brain: I wondered what that was. I’m knackered.

Me: Me too.

Brain: Stick a broom up your arse while you run around doing all this shit and you’ll keep the decks clean too. And now you've got me hooked into this craptastic boat metaphor! Thanks a lot. You’re clearly insane. 

Me: Who’s this “you” you’re talking about?

Brain: Oh very clever.

Me: So this year is shaping up to be a pretty exciting voyage. Yo ho ho and a barrel of rum, etc.

Brain: You’re weird.

Me: Takes one to know one.

Brain: I know you are but what am I?

Me: Um. What?

Brain: Shut up.

What plans do you have for 2013?

*I’ve wanted to do this for ten years. Finally it’s done. Now I have to practice. The gorgeous Dayle Walker is my Reiki Master and she is totally brilliant.** She also provides massage, hypnotherapy and reflexology so send me an email if you’re interested in her contact details. I can’t recommend her highly enough. She rocks. And is HILAIRE.
** Did you hear the Woop woop danger Will Robinson alert that accompanies sponsored posts? No? Me neither. This is not a sponsored post - I just adore her.