Thursday, August 2, 2012

It's not the size of the baguette that matters...

(Please feel free to read this with an outrageously bad French accent, as it was intended).

Thank you all for coming today. As father of the bride I’ll try to keep this short because I know you all want to get your beaks into those bowls of expensive seeds I paid for...

Today we saw two paper cut-out birds loving people join together in the bonds of feathered matrimony.

As we sit here, in this beautiful French aviary on this momentous occasion, let me first share some remembrances I have of my daughter, the bride.

It was a cold and wintery day in Bayswater a tiny French town far, far away, when friends and family gathered close to witness the creation birth of my little Bryn Eggleston.

Bryn’s story is a complete lie fairy tale of die-cut romance, a story about a young chick from a poor nest. She grew up on telephone lines on the wrong side of the tracks. Her chances of moving up to a higher perch in life were slim.

Her mother and I were worried when we heard she was working as a stripper dancer at La Cage Aux Folles. What kind of people would she meet? I was worried the day she brought home that emu – surely they had no future? And the peacock was a disaster – all tail feathers and no brain.

But then she met Marcel. Marcel looked into her metallic blue brad eyes and fell in love with her in an instant.

My, what a big baguette you have.
The bride and groom - note the matching berets.
Marcel has promised Bryn to give up smoking and lose the
70’s porn star moustache once they’re married.

Marcel looked beyond how badly glued she was her miss-matched wings, beyond the fact that she had a bulldog clip for feet the meagre scratchings of her past, and saw her inner beauty.

A year later, here we are. Bryn doesn’t have to work at Le Cage Aux Folles anymore (which is probably for the best, apparently bulldog clips aren’t very conducive to dancing. Who knew?).

Marcel’s baguette business is flourishing and we’re hoping to hear the sound of little paper clips running around the nest very soon.

So everyone, please raise your glasses in a toast, to the bridesmaids…

The bridesmaids, Adele and Anais.
Finding shoes to match the outfits for these gals was a NIGHTMARE.

All the above works of art bits of fun were created using equipment and materials provided by my good friend Karen at Viva La Stamping. This isn’t a sponsored post, but I was inspired to write about the fun I had as a complete idiot untalented newbie at paper craft last weekend.

The bridesmaids were made by Karen, Marcel was made by her husband Michael and I claim responsibility for the lack of quality in beautiful Bryn.

What I learned:  
  • The French work for pigeon is… pigeon
  • It takes a lot of work to remove glue and glitter from your hair
  • It’s easier to make a baguette than you'd think
  • None of us can do a decent French accent
  • Karen is the shiz at this paper craft lark.
Karen is an incredibly patient and talented lady. You can use her stuff to make greeting cards, decorations, and – yes – wedding invitations, among many other exciting papery things. She is available for paper craft parties, sales, cups of tea and pigeon weddings. Don't worry if you're not a talented crafter - she made even me look good! Here are some more samples of her work:
Gorgeous Christmas card, made by Karen
Bryn and Marcel will be sending these this year...

The rosette I got for being the only best
Mother of the Bride
You can contact Karen  on Twitter: @VivaLaStamping or via her website: 
Bryn and Marcel will be sending out thank you cards via courier pigeon later this month...


  1. It was fun actually, and I'm completely unco when it comes to crafty things.

    What I thought was good that despite our (yes, I'm including you Michaela) complete incompetence, we still managed to create something with a story that looked pretty good.

    I'm glad Karen is good at crafts though cos if you look at Marcel there, that may give you an idea of what people could expect if I made the Christmas Cards at our place! ;)

  2. Never have I read about crafts and had such a wonderful laugh while doing so.
    You have to write a childrens book as I know parents would love reading it too.
    I just love your imagination.Xx

    1. Thanks Deb you're always so kind!

      Children's books for the parent who doesn't mind their child learning to swear like a &^%$%#!!! sailor at a very early age ;-)