The fearless Eden Riley blogged about the cost of honesty in
her fabulous post here - http://www.edenriley.com/2012/04/taking-hits.html.
She talks about honesty in blogging being like putting your best china out there… and
risking someone coming along and smashing it.
A few weeks ago my partner, R, suggested I write about how
people on the internet produce their “Dinner Party Persona” to the world via
Facebook, Twitter and blogging. He feels people aren’t honest about who they
are. They only show the good stuff. The stuff that makes them look like mature,
concerned, worldly-wise activists/political theorists/insert preferred ist
here. Not the tantrums, bad hair days, grumpy arguments, shitty attitudes, and
CBF days. They don’t expose themselves, warts and all.
At this point I need to point out that on my Facebook page
(the personal one, not the professional one) I AM CONSTANTLY SHOWING THE WORLD
MY WARTS. Figuratively speaking. I often whinge and whine on Twitter too. Fess up;
you know there are times when my whining is annoying. That’s OK.
People have told me that they keep that stuff off the
internet (maybe they don’t have that stuff to start with) as it’s “unprofessional”.
That people don’t want to hear about it. That’s not what Facebook etc. are for.
To that I say; bog off. I blather on to express what I need
to express. Don’t like it? Unfriend me, or hide my feed. Everyone uses social
networking tools for their own reasons and in their own way. You don’t get to
tell me how I’m allowed to use mine. Thankyouverymuch.
So, on to blogging. As bloggers, we’re in a quandary,
especially if we have professional lives. WHAT IF A CLIENT SEES MY BLOG?! What
if they happen across a Facebook comment that shows I’m a human being?! THE
WORLD WILL END.
Or not.
I gather that I have a blgging persona. One that doesn’t
match my real persona. Or only my Dinner Party Persona. I’m not sure why that
is. What am I hiding? Why does R care whether the two things match? I suspect
because he feels a bit ripped off that he has to put up with the warts and all
version and you readers don’t. I don’t blame him. He has to put up with the warty version of this blogging frog.
So just in case anyone is wondering about the real me, here I am.
I’m almost 44, overweight, my hair is grey. I have chronic
health issues that I keep meaning to work on. I drink too much. I have a 7 year
old who takes up most of my energy. I hate housework so avoid it. Wherever
possible. I hate loud noise. I regularly lose my sense of humour. I get
defensive over stupid things that don’t matter. I usually define my self-worth based
on the opinions of others. I’m insecure, and sometimes lonely. I have anxiety disorder
and have had depression in the past. I’m often angry and irritable.
I’m not a super-experienced writer. I’ve been doing it on
and off for 20 years but always dabbling, never putting in the required effort
and focus to really call myself a writer. I have trouble dedicating myself to a
single idea, for long enough to really do it justice. I’m also lazy.
Most days I feel decidedly UNSPECIAL.
I write because I feel compelled to. Don’t make the mistake
of assuming it’s because I reckon I’m fabulous at it.
On days when I’ve felt particularly unspecial I haven’t
blogged. I haven’t wanted to blog angry.
I’ve probably missed some smaller pieces of crockery here
and there, but that’s most of my china. None of it is particularly precious, so
smash away.
Here’s my commitment to you – from now on I won’t self-censor
my blog (beyond making sure it make sense and is readable).
I’ll make extra effort to be honest. On days when I feel
unspecial, I’ll write regardless.
And Microsoft Word, I don’t care that unspecial is not a
word. Add to Dictionary, arsehole.
Have you risked your china lately?
