Problogger and how to dilute the Awkward

Awkward - the elephant in the lobby of QT.
Image © Victor Zastol`skiy | Dreamstime.com

Last week I attended the 2013 Problogger Training Event, where 450 bloggers got together to learn more about their craft. Many bloggers more accomplished than I have written fabulous posts about their experiences. 

So, in keeping with the tradition I started last year, I won't be talking in-depth about the conference here. In case you're curious, here are the messages that resonated with me this year:

• It's OK to be multi-passionate
• We should be wary of the trap that is accidental competency
• Instead of working on improving your weaknesses, work on making your strengths world-beating.

With that out of the way, I want to talk about the elephant in the conference room. In fact I don't want to just talk about her, I want to pop a purple tutu on her, sprinkle some glitter on her tusks and parade her around the room to some particularly jarring circus music to make sure she catches your attention.

This elephant's name is Awkward.

The blogging world considers itself a community; a happy, loving band of like-minded people who share a passion for getting their message across via words and pictures. We like to be seen as a cohesive group of good-natured, professionally-behaved, amiable folk.

I think this is bullshit. Bloggers are no more an amorphous homogenous mass than any other group of diverse and competitive human beings.

Sure, most bloggers share a camaraderie which is truly delightful and this is one of the reasons I go to these events. I've developed some solid, lasting friendships with my blogging friends. However, when you get 450 bloggers in one place it swiftly becomes apparent how different we all are.

These differences can lead to discomfort. I love Problogger because I get to catch up with some fellow bloggers who I truly adore. You know who you are.

What happens, though, when bloggy relationships go south? How do you deal with having to see someone after your friendship has crashed in such a massive flaming wreck that it was visible for several miles and reported on the evening news?

Awk... ward.

Here are some handy tips on how to avoid Awkward at a blogging conference:

1. When you see the person you want to avoid, rush up to them, give them a huge hug and plant a kiss on their cheek. Babble on brightly as if the plane crash that was your friendship's demise never happened. This neatly transfers the Awkward from you to them. Use this technique with care - they may call your bluff and return the Awkward by pashing you. This leaves you with nowhere to go unless you're prepared to sexually harass them. This could get ugly for everyone and lead to you both having to burn down your blogs and leave social media forever. 
2. Challenge your nemesis to a drinking contest at the cocktail event. The loser must burn down their blog and leave social media forever. 
3. Move around the conference in a small gaggle of people to always dilute the Awkward (450 people should do it).
4. Don't sit next to your ex-friend accidentally. I can't stress this one enough. DO NOT ACCIDENTALLY SIT NEXT TO YOUR BLOGGING NEMESIS. Be alert at all times; particularly when sitting. Or standing. Or walking. 
5. Slip something into your bloggy ex-friend's tea so that they spend the conference comatose in a corner. Alternatively, do the same to yourself. Don't do both; that would be expensive and wasteful over-achieving.
6. Don't go. This is a 100% fool-proof way to avoid Awkward. And everything else, for that matter.

The truth is out; bloggers don't all like each other. I hope these simple tips will mean you don't ever need to burn down your blog and leave social media forever, just because you forgot to dilute the Awkward.   

Have you ever experienced Awkward?
How did you deal with her?

 

Roll Up! Roll up! Come see the March 2013 Digital Parents Blog Carnival!

Seriously creepy clown image from here.

Roll up! Roll up! 

It's time for the March Digital Parents Blog Carnival!

Come on in and see the Amazing Illustrated Lady and the World's Strongest Man!

See the fearless feats of our lion tamers!

Be amazed at our astonishing acrobats!

Gasp in awe at our fire eaters!

Be astonished at our list of brilliant blog posts from February!

Please take a tour around our fabulous Big Top and leave some comment love for our hard working performers...

Francesca performs over at "Francesca Writes Here".

What, 1993 was 20 years ago?:
http://francescawriteshere.blogspot.com.au/2013/02/what-1993-was-20-years-ago.html

This post is about how the passing of time can creep up on us!

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/FrancescaWritesHere
Twitter: http://twitter.com/FrancescaBlogs

Josefa Pete performs over at "always Josefa".

Immortality:
http://www.alwaysjosefa.com/the-kinnie-club/immortality/ 

Questioning the reason why we blog, do you seek immortality through your words?

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/alwaysJosefa
Twitter: http://twitter.com/always_josefa

Jen performs over at "Semantically driven".

His schooling has turned a corner:
http://semanticallydriven.com/2013/02/his_schooling_has_turned_a_corner.html

Schooling isn't always a one size fits all, but sometimes it does work even if it takes a few years to get there. A story about a boy, who after 6 years, is finally finding his groove at school.

Twitter: http://twitter.com/jenseeya

Cassandra Wunsch performs over at "10% Inspired"

Shake it out:
http://10percentinspired.com/shake-it-out/

A post about the feeling not of clinging to the past, but having it cling to you.

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/10percentinspired
Twitter: http://twitter.com/10Inspired 

Tara Force performs over at "MUMmedia"

Media Monday – Noisy Children Banned From Shopping Malls – Who’s Really To Blame?:
http://www.mummedia.net/2013/02/media-monday-noisy-children-banned-from-shopping-malls/

Noisy children being banned from shopping centers. Are parents always to blame? 

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/MUMmedia/183041278392874
Twitter: http://twitter.com/MUMmedia

Lara Cain Gray performs over at "This Charming Mum"

Top 5 rainy day games for kids of hungover parents: 
http://thischarmingmum.com/2013/02/17/top-5-rainy-day-games-for-kids-of-hungover-parents/ 

How do you keep the kids happy on a rainy day when the room spins if you move off the couch? Here are my tips!

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/This-Charming-Mum/117182621742426
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ThisCharmingMum

Becci Sundberg performs over at "Becci's Domestic Bliss"

Tucker Tuesdays ~ Breakfast Smoothies:
http://beccisdomesticbliss.blogspot.com.au/2013/02/tucker-tuesdays-breakfast-smoothies.html

My 4yo doesn't like to eat breakfast on kindy mornings. What better way to get a healthy meal into him that by making some breakfast smoothies!

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Beccis-Domestic-Bliss/303322393023376

Georgia performs over at "Parental Parody"

Ikea v McDonald's : A breakup and a new relationship:
http://www.parentalparody.com/2013/02/ikea-v-mcdonalds-break-up-and-new.html

I'm breaking up with Macca's because Ikea's moist (meat)balls and free supervised play area wooed me.

Facebook: www.facebook.com/parentalparody
Twitter: www.twitter.com/parental_parody

Dorothy performs over at "Singular Insanity"

If there was one thing you could change in the world…: 
http://www.singularinsanity.com/if-there-was-one-thing-you-could-change-in-the-world/

If you had the power to change just one thing in the world, what would it be?

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/singularinsanity
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/singular_insane

Danya performs over at "Danya Banya"

S is for Space Satellite Saturn Sun Stars Solar System Fancy Dress ups:
http://www.danyabanya.com/2013/02/s-is-for-space-satellite-saturn-sun-stars-solar-system-fancy-dress-ups-halloween.html

OK, so your family has been invited to an "S" themed fancy dress party - what do you wear?  Space outfits of course! Satellite, Saturn, Sun, Stars - the whole Solar System really...

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/DanyaBanyaBlog
Twitter: http://twitter.com/Danya_Banya

Tahlia performs over at "The Parenting Files"

I heart everyday moments:
http://theparentingfiles.com.au/i-heart-everyday-moments

This year I want to notice more, capture more and appreciate the everyday moments. And I want to inspire everyone to as well. So I have set up a whole new community to get the party started. 

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/theparentingfiles
Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/parentingfiles

Tegan performs over at "Musings of the Misguided"

The truth is better than any story:

http://musingsofthemisguided.blogspot.com.au/2013/02/the-truth-is-better-than-any-story.html

Dispelling the myths around being in jail.

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Musings-of-the-Misguided/247565281937901

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/misguidedmuser

Bronnie performs over at "Maid In Australia"

Not just swimming, diving:

http://www.maidinaustralia.com/2013/02/not-just-swimming-diving.html

Bronnie Marquardt puts her hand up from the sinking sensation of depression and finds she's doing more than just swimming.

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Maid-In-Australia/250293071668396

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/MaidInAustralia

Angela May performs over at "Melting Moments"

B1 and B2′s Rainbow Themed 2nd Birthday Party:

http://meltingmoments.info/?p=5053

My twins rainbow themed 2nd birthday party. A run down of the day, food, cake and decorations.

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/MeltingMomentsBlog

Twitter: http://twitter.com/@meltingmoments_

Peta performs over at "Peta-Jo".

Can I get your number? And other favourite things to be asked:

http://www.petajo.com/let-me-put-your-number-in-my-phone/

A woman's phone number doesn't lose its currency once she's married. Or so I've discovered!

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/pages/Peta-Jo/461304725178

Twitter: http://twitter.com/misspetajo

Your RingMistress for this month is yours truly, The Frog. I was tempted to link to my dead possum post but thought the better of it at the last minute. 

Please do not poke my subconscious with a stick - the top 10 9 things that shit me:

http://www.fivefrogsblog.com.au/2013/02/please-do-not-poke-my-subconscious-with.html

What it says on the box.

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/FiveFrogsOnABlog

Twitter: http://twitter.com/FiveFrogsBlog

You make the rules

Welcome to 2013 people!

In March I'll have been writing here for a year. Let me share with you some (cough) wisdom I've accumulated so far, about blogging in particular.

But really I think it's a metaphor for everything in life.

Enjoy. I'll be hitting "Publish" again in earnest here soon.

The long history of New Media (anyone for a pamphlet?)

Welcome back to the Lily Pad folks. Pull up a comfy chair, sit down, pop your feet up and settle back for a small history lesson about pamphlets.

From the 1500s to the early twentieth century, pamphlets were a common way for people to share their opinions. Pamphlets were short, quickly-created publications that had a distinct aim. They related to something of common, current interest such as politics, religion, personal issues, famous people or literature. They often used satire and were frequently controversial, even slanderous. They were designed to be read by the masses.

Someone who created and distributed these pamphlets was known as a pamphleteer. Pamphlets were around before either books or newspapers.

A Pamphleteer getting his pamph on. Nice tights.
Image from here.

 

In 1518 Martin Luther* – a German religious pamphleteer – was surprised to find a private publication he’d written had been translated, copied and widely circulated by some of his friends. It soon spread through Europe. Imagine his even greater surprise when this “95 Theses” became the basis of the Protestant Reformation of the Roman Catholic Church.

Martin Luther nailing his 95 Theses to the door of the church.
This is a myth.
He sent it to them via homing pigeon or bicycle courier or something.
Never let the truth get in the way of a good
"nailing his protest to the door of the church" story.
Image from here.

In 1776 a pamphleteer called Thomas Paine** anonymously published a pamphlet called “Common Sense”. It would become the rallying call for the American War of Independence as it was copied and handed out across the country.

Feeling edumacated?

Now, go back to the top of this page and read it again:

• Replace the word pamphlet with blog.
• Replace the word pamphleteer with blogger.
• Replace the word copied with shared.

 

New Media? Really?

 

 

Read any good pamphlets lately?

* Yes I know Martin Luther was many things besides being a pamphleteer. Shhhh!

** See above *. Insert "Thomas Paine" where you see "Martin Luther".

 

 

Badly behaved cutlery, shark penises and broken moustaches

I started to write my post-ProBlogger Training Event post, because that’s what you do after a blogging conference.

You write a brilliant piece outlining everything you did, the blogerati you met, and the amazing epiphanies you experienced.

Here’s my last one. A literary masterpiece (if you’re into questionable cutlery behaviour and broken limbs).

Here I am sitting in Hobart airport typing away. On my blog post. Except, the blog post didn’t happen. This did:

Yes this is what happened to me at Problogger 2012

I realised that I have a book that needs to be written. Looks like it’ll get written whether I like it or not.

Problogger was terrific and I recommend you go next year. Plenty of other people will blog about the amazing stuff they learned.

Here are, instead, my Top Ten Seven Moments from ProBlogger 2012:

Poorly Behaved Cutlery Strikes Again

Yes, another blogging conference where cutlery became the inadvertent star. This time, the spoon invested in a social media strategy. SMART SPOON.

 

 

The Devious Etihad Spoon demonstrating Blogger Pay Scales

The Mo goes Mad

I got to wear my (generic no-name nasal wax *cough*) moustache stencil to the cocktail party.

 

Then it broke. I proved that if nothing else, I can improvise.

 

Thanks to Jackie Purnell and Sarah from What Sarah Did Next for playing with me in the photo booth. Photos courtesy of Smile Booth Australia.

I sweated champagne

The morning after the night before. Sorry to anyone sitting near me. Despite showering and changing I’m pretty sure you’d have been able to get drunk just from licking me. So I’m glad you all restrained yourselves. It was best for everyone really.

Shark penises

That is all.

If you weren’t in Room 1 for this session, you missed out. They gave free marine mammal penises to each attendee. Did nobody tell you? Oh, it was a secret?

Oops. Sorry.

The one where I didn’t break my ankle (but I did try)

On the morning of the second day I tripped UP the tram steps, then spent ten minutes panicking because I couldn’t find my stick on moustache in my Tardis handbag.

Yep. I was ready for Day 2.

I met the woman who changed my life. In the toilet.

Let me clarify. I met Valerie Khoo in the bathroom.

Not the toilet itself.

And she changed my life because of what she said on a panel.*

Not what she did for me in the toilet.

Which was nothing, other than say hello to me.

I hope we’ve cleared up that horribly embarrassing misunderstanding.

I met some amazing bloggers and writers

I met so many people, some for the first time, some again after meeting them at the last conference. You were all wonderful, hilarious and beautiful. It made me happy to see so many of you embracing both your luminosity and your crazy at the same time.

Sarah from What Sarah Did Next gets a special mention because she put up with my whinging, chattering, general constant presence and a vague champagney smell for the whole conference. Plus she let me get changed in her hotel room.

Pity she didn’t want to go the traditional blog conference pash.



I have no idea why she's laughing.
Photo again thanks to Smile Booth Australia.


 

*More on that in another post.

Did you go to Problogger 2012?

If so, did you meet all the people you wanted to meet?